If you’ve been following this blog for a while (or check the archives), you might remember earlier this year I made a post giving my thoughts on singleness, and how I as a Christian respond to it. In the seven and a half months since I wrote that post, I’ve had some time to reflect on what I said, and I’ve ended up re-evaluating one or two points. For example, in the original post I said this:
“I often see other Christian bloggers or YouTubers talking about how I should ’embrace the gift of singleness’. It often leaves me thinking: are you kidding me? Do you even know what it’s like? Sometimes it honestly feels like nobody wants me. I know I’d rather wait for somebody I genuinely care about than settle for somebody I don’t, but it really is a test of patience.”
Now now, slightly younger me. Maybe you just misunderstood what the phrase ‘gift of singleness’ is supposed to mean. While it’s true that hearing singleness being described as a ‘gift’ can strike a raw nerve with some of those who lack a significant other (as the always-great Jefferson Bethke pointed out in this video), elsewhere it can actually raise quite a good point. There are several things you can do when you’re single that you can’t do when you are in a relationship. For instance, not having a partner might give you more time to love and serve those around you. (Of course, if you are in a relationship, this doesn’t have to be a cue for you to close this webpage, phone your partner and say “¡Adios!” necessarily; I’m sure there are things you can do in a relationship that you can’t when single. It’s just that, as a lifelong single, I haven’t had the chance to find out what they are yet.)
It may be true that being married is regarded as the norm amongst church circles (certainly the ones I’m associated with), but I don’t believe there’s no hope for the rest of us. I said in the original post that it may be God has made us single for a reason, and I still stand by that statement, even though it might come off as a bit disheartening to myself and my fellow singles. Just keep loving God and loving others, and if someone comes along that fits your criteria for a life partner, I can’t see a reason not to give them a try.
P.S. I’ll link the original post here because I’m feeling extra kind tonight 😉